Hello there to all my Super Mazer fans! I am really digging not being balls-deep crazy any more. All the fun I had been missing out on was highly inexcusable. Come to think of it pardon me a sec…ahem…Ladies, I’ll catch you later because I need to keep all my fans informed, so show yourselves out and I’ll catch you Babes later tonight. Yep, your clothes are over there… Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, what’s up with me!
I was still kick ‘in it in Hochoch as things are starting to look up for ole Mazer here. I met up with some of my good adventuring friends Princess Jagr, D-Track, Dasut & apprentice Yahnny, G-Zo, and Spectre at a local tavern to see what we were going to do next. POP! There was that creepy mirror over in the corner of the tavern that kept following Dasut around so that kind of joined our group too as default party member. Hey Buddy Dasut, not that I want to pick on you but your creepy mirror is right over there, again. See it? Just thought you should know. <wink> I passed him over a strong drink too. Poor Dasut was being constantly “haunted” one could say by that creepy cursed mirror. No matter what he does, it shows up somewhere as he moves about the town, in buildings, rooms, streets, wherever and is showing him unsettling weird stuff. I guess Dasut doesn’t like it too much. Ole Mazer would just give that mirror many “grand performances” with various female lady-friends all the time if it wanted to follow ME around and watch. Huh…wait…mirrors while I…do stuff…reflections I can see of…me…and my chicks…I may be on to something here…but I’ll think more on this later. (Sweet Reflections musical interlude on the Lute…)
While we were discussing the options of helping out Hochoch, a strange soothsayer lady entered the tavern and walked over to us. Marie de Graine was her name and hearing the rumors of the mirror, sought us out to offer advice on the mirror’s use and care. I usually never forget a face…especially female faces and I remember this soothsayer from somewhere. Oh yeah, she provided Mazer here his fortune back when we encountered the night-hunter sacks in Gorna, I think. She rattled off like 13 points of mirror rules to follow…which I lost interest around step 5 or so. Rules!? Who needs them. Hey, look at those attractive women over there! I tuned back in when Marie started to explain a Scrying Ritual with the mirror. Wow, that’s interesting. Will have to try it out and I hope care steps 6 through 13 didn’t deal with scrying. Well, in conversations with Marie de Graine and our group she referred Ole Mazer here as the “The Father” and Princess Jagr as “The Mother”. Hey, Fortune Honey why are you calling me “The Father”. She stated that I am the Father of Many! WHAT THE…!!? Yeah well, you did say my future was golden last time and then I hit balls-deep crazy and ate a bunch of dirt. Quack! I also asked why Princess Jagr is “The Mother”? Fortune Honey said Jagr was with Child! BOOM! Newsflash! I had to clear it for the record to all present that ole Mazer has N O T H I N G to do with Princess Jagr’s apparent situation. No, no way. If I did though…that would be one beautiful kid!
Well after Marie de Graine informed us with that mirror knowledge and some bonus jaw dropping news, she offered to do fortune readings for us with her magic cards. Princess Jagr, Dasut, and I all had a reading. Like before these were those magic cards with cool pictures. I drew the Charlatan, Rogue, Broken One, Myrmidon, and Ghost and got a semi-vague fortune, again. Some of the cards made sense but you can’t really believe any of this stuff, am I right?
Still wondering what to do next, we thought about trying out Dasut’s mirror with scrying. Some of our other adventuring friends mentioned that Judge Jia was recently seen fleeing with Mind Flayers or something and was presently unaccounted for. Well, that is one hot woman who also happened to be Hochoch’s High Judge. Let’s try looking her up to see if she is okay or in need of help. Buddy Dasut was convinced (my strong drink for him kicked in) to try and scry first for her since it’s his creepy mirror. After a few attempts he described a very odd perspective but saw Jia lying on a fancy bed most comfortably and…ahem, naked. The view out her window appeared to be on the second floor, showed a tree, and high stone wall. After ole Mazer here heard of Jia’s present situation, I was extremely motivated to check her out…I mean make sure she was okay. Yes! We decided to go to the Quivering Hills Companionship Hall as that was her place of business and near a walled section of Hochoch. Oh boy, this just keeps getting better! I fumbled to find my exclusive QHCH Gold Membership card…I mean, how did that get in my pocket!? I bet D-Track slipped in there as a joke. Sneaky rogue. Yeah…must be it. <wink> (Giddy-Up musical interlude on the Lute…)
Arriving at Quivering Hills it was decided that our stealthy types of D-Track, Dasut, Yahnny, and Spectre would find the window and sneak in to look for any information that maybe there while Princess Jagr, G-Zo, and I would go in front door style and live it up! Again Princess Jagr managed to manipulate the situation to get ole Mazer here alone, more or less, to herself. We all see it Honey and feel the vibes you have for me! Too bad you married my best friend. When entering it was the same old place with the attractive QH ladies and various visiting patrons. The Hostess with the Mostest greeted me and asked if I wanted my same room. I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, what is she talking about guys?! Same room? I don’t know… I just told the Hostess I was here for a couple drinks and to see if I could solo perform most excellently for your guests & staff with permission from High Judge Jia of course. Princess Jagr and G-Zo stumbled around the joint most awkwardly. Geez. I had two drinks poured for me at the bar as the Hostess went upstairs to assumingly notify Jia and draw her out of the bedroom. Normally I want attractive women going INTO the bedroom with me but Mazer is on mission! It wasn’t long before I heard “Mazer!” from the top of the stairs. Whoa mamma. Did she look GOOOOD! She most elegantly made her way over to me and yes, the waiting second drink was most smoothly handed to her expertly and slick-like. Bam! After some initial conversation she invited me upstairs to her room of course for a…oh crap…Noooo…stay on main mission Mazer…stay on main mission… This was a sad day as I had to resist my normal guaran-damn-teed urges to simply just talk, and intellectually-like interact and stuff…NOT FAIR! Errrrr! After a bit of stalling and mentally having to undress her so my stealthy friends had time to search her room she then asked if we could have a private conversation in the basement regarding a potential business opportunity. Sweet! I thought this a bit strange as Jia was not really a dirty basement type of woman, but that got me even more excited! Yeah, yeah…lets discuss this in the basement. I quickly tipped back my drink and slammed the glass on the bar. BAM! Secondary personal mission back on! Ha HA! I followed her in back of QH and Jia opened the door to the basement as she was explaining that she wanted to open other QHCH’s in other cities and wanted to know if Two Lutes for Love would be interesting in partnering. Ole Mazer was all in baby and this sounded like a great idea. As we were walking down the stairs I started unbuttoning my shirt for the official seal-the-deal handshake, in the dirty basement! (Where’s that Damn Mirror When You Need It? musical interlude on the Lute…)
This was it and ole Mazer had waited a long time for some privacy with Jia. I could feel the mutual vibes in the semi-musty basement air as I gently pulled her close to me. Her arms wrapped around me as well. I heard a weird sloshing sound but I had more important things on my mind. She smelled so good and sweet…what?! I noticed Jia looking past me deeper into the basement for some reason. What could be hotter than ME!!? Hey, look at me. I’m right here Babe! Well, maybe there was a mirror after all. Fine, what are you looking at and what the hell is that sloshing sound!!? Well when I turned to look a metaphoric spike felt like it was driven into my skull & brain, followed by an intense splitting headache, and my muscles felt as if they were briefly electrified! Zzzaaappp! Sitting here in the basement was the largest Tentacled Brain-Sack in a pit of Ooze ole Mazer has ever seen! The only one I have ever seen. Yikes! Secondary personal mission back off! This thing almost took out sturdy Mazer here with ONE BIG psychic shot! OUCH!!!! Since I was barely hanging on to consciousness I ran up the stairs swaying, yelling, and grabbing my beautiful head “BIG BRAIN!!! BIG BRAIN!!! Mazer DOWN!!! Jia, let’s go! HELP!!!” (I Like Big…Brains…and I Cannot Lie!? musical interlude on the out-of-tune Lute…)
Well I was in really rough shape and rubbing blood from my nose and ears after barely making it up the stairs. Princess Jagr & G-Zo already showed up in the back to help Ole Mazer as they heard my “BIG BRAIN” screaming. I also heard the others from upstairs hastefully moving footfalls on the way to us. After we all were here together I received some stabilization healing magic from Princess Jagr…she just always has to be touching me. I explained what I had saw and…WAIT! Where is High Judge Jia!!? Is she here!!? Aww crap, she must still be downstairs. We have to rescue her guys! She’s HOT! Well I guess the others were more concerned that she was a High Judge above anything else and we went down the stairs to engage the largest Tentacled Brain-Sack in a pit of Ooze I have ever seen! I took a big whiff of my partially unbuttoned shirt that still contained the good sweet scent of Jia and that was all the motivation I needed! Ahhhhh. This Tentacled Brain-Sack was about to get personally acquainted with MazerBeams™ and MazerBalls™! (Time to Make a Difference! musical interlude on the Lute…)
We engaged the largest Tentacled Brain-Sack in a pit of Ooze. The rogues D-Track & Spectre would pop out of the shadows and fire ranged weapons and then disappear again in the shadows. Before Princess Jagr, Dasut, & apprentice Yahnny could go melee on that thing, G-Zo & I (from the stairs) both dropped a fireball in the area to soften that Brain-Sack up a bit. Take that buddy for mind-screwing ole Mazer here! Suddenly High Judge Jia jumped out from somewhere in the basement and attacked us…wait, WHAT? Come on Babe!! You were this close to your “Mazer Experience” too…$&^#!!! Jia started casting spells at us which started to draw some of the ranged rogue attacks and melee as well. I guess she was a thrall/under control of the Big Brain. BOOM! I dropped another MazerBall™ on that Tentacled Brain-Sack…Ha ha! Take my woman huh!!? POP! Dasut’s creepy mirror showed up in the basement…thanks default party member. Then Zzzaaappp! ANOTHER BIG psychic shot rattled my beautiful brain again and ole Mazer went down. When I came to Dasut and apprentice Yahnny had dragged me upstairs and rendered aid. Thanks Buds! Then ALL the QH ladies and visiting patrons stopped, turned, starred at us all unsettling like, then moved to attack. What the…more thralls!!! Half of the group was engaged upstairs and half in the basement. This is NOT GOOD. Do you know what else is not GOOD!!? G-Zo dropped another fireball on Tentacled Brain-Sack BUT this time the default party member (Creepy Mirror) was in the blast radius of the spell. Oh-No! That’s when a very big really creepy thing happened. Suddenly the mirror made a strange sound and glowed a bit and all caught within its reflection received an exact duplicate opposite gift of themselves which immediately began to attack the real version. Sorry Princess Jagr and it couldn’t happen to a better evil Tentacled Brain-Sack! (Wait!!! Two Princess Jagr’s?! Hmmmm…. musical interlude on the Lute…)
Basement level: our Rogues eventually dropped poor Hot Jia and pressed their sneaky attacks on the real Tentacled Brain-Sack. The double-downed Brain-Sack’s attacked each other. The double-downed Princess Jagr’s attacked each other. First Floor: Dasut, apprentice Yahnny, and I were finishing off the attacking QH ladies and visiting patrons. Geez. This is really messed up! We finished off our baddies and headed to the basement to help. When fast moving Dasut passed in front of the mirror on the way to the Tentacled Brain-Sacks, he disappeared! Okay, what else can go wrong? Stay away from the default party member guys…it’s really mad! Eventually one of the Princess Jagr’s shattered like glass as the real Jagr was victorious! YES! Soon after the real largest Tentacled Brain-Sack in a pit of Ooze fell over on the basement floor dead. We all then shot at, attacked, spelled the other one and it eventually shattered like glass! Boom! Okay, now where the hell did Dasut go!!? Oh, there he is right now standing in front of his creepy mirror. Hey Dasut, you okay? He kind of seemed confused and disoriented a bit but reassured us he was fine. We quickly had to get out of the QHCH as that many fireballs will do some damage to the structure AND the good memories ole Mazer has had at this establishment started to go up in flames. (A Sad Goodbye to the QHCH…it must have been Xilvyre Again! musical interlude on the Lute…)
The Hochoch Town Guard and Fire Brigade showed up to assist as we tended to our wounds outside. Dasut abruptly started walking away and I told apprentice Yahnny to keep an eye on him, let me know what’s going on, and follow him down the street. So did now-calmed down default party member creepy mirror. POP! The Hochoch Fire Brigade eventually got the fire out and the building was still standing but will need a lot of work to repair it. I wonder if my Best Friend Prince Rhys would let ole Mazer have it to open a Two Lutes for Love Tavern here in Hochoch? Will have to discuss this with him.
Apprentice Yahnny came back to me later that day very concerned about Dasut. Okay, take me to see him Yahnny. I had a conversation with Dasut to ask what’s up! At first he seemed very strange and not knowing his name, where his is, but after a while… Hey it’s all good Man! Dasut is himself again and there is nothing to be concerned about. Just was a bit shook up from the battle. That’s all I have to say about that! He also must have removed the curse of the Creepy Mirror later that day too because now it’s a partner with Princess Jagr and following her around.
Well, to inspire and give Hochoch a big community event Prince Rhys is hosting the Battle of the Bands competition and the prize is the burnt out old QHCH building. Dandelion & I are all over that and were the first to sign up but I heard the list of interested bands is growing. Stay tuned for the BEST Two Lutes for Love concert ever! What could go wrong at a fun joyful festival of many Hochoch citizens and some of the best bands around all gathered close together to enjoy themselves with music, drink, and laughter? YEAH……..Later! Mazer