The day started out great! I got to hang with three other females for this next adventure. All were looking as good as me (Bam!) and it felt like a 2 Lutes for Love groupie thing…except Dandelion was not there and we were all working together…and like all business. Oh well. Aurora, Xilvyre, and…yeah what’s her name now? I forget…umm Yuldra was there with Pookie? I guess it was four other females and Mazer because Pookie the Teddy Bear was now Pookie a young female Gnome. Like moving around and picking pockets and stuff Gnome. Don’t get it.
So we had to incapacitate a Knights of the Watch Chapterhouse (sausage-fest) with some dwarf guy in charge called blah blah blah long name ending in Boltar Hammerhold. Marcher’s titles, geez! While we do this, other forces are attempting to gain control of the Cantrev to endorse Gareth as the rightful heir and bring it back into Gyruff’s fold. We rescued Gareth on a previous adventure and he is being schooled-up and cleaned-up but that guy can sure swing a mean maul though. Splat followed by red mist.
Who do you go to when you want to incapacitate someone? Normally Mazer! But Mazer Beams™ usually burn baddies down dead as the form of incapacitated ashes. But we wanted to not make anyone dead. Fine, add levels of difficulty and tie my hands! Well, STILL come to Mazer because I had a great idea! (Music interlude on the Lute…)
See, I had this outstanding favor from Stone Giant Chieftess Thornshelda. Previously when we were hanging outside the walls of Gorna she offered me some Magic Mushrooms. Of course Mazer does not refuse the request of a female Giant Chieftess and munched some right down. Let’s just say what happened after that I don’t really remember to well but I do recall yelling “Stick in the mud!” to some old guy high up on the Gorna city walls and he got really red in the face for some reason. Oh, and colors. Lots of colors! When I came to, I still had both my kidneys thank god! We visited Stone Giantess Thornshelda again and cashed in my favor for two strong doses of those Magic Mushrooms. Also, remembering that Blue Smoke cloud the Stone Giants were enjoying made me ask for some of that stuff also. We each had to dish out some real gold for a pouch of that good stuff but when ignited by fire…baby, the Blue Smoke will make everything alright! We also got together and brewed up a concoction of our own design hoping it would incapacitate but honestly, weren’t quite sure what it would do.
Observing the Chapterhouse’s activities, we noticed the Wait Staff did not look happy…not at all. I doubt even 2 Lutes for Love could have cheered those poor people up. So Xilvyre discreetly made contact with the kitchen help to assist us slipping in a special dose of those Magic Mushrooms to Mr. Dwarf Leader and spike the rest of the food with our own concoction for the enjoyment of everyone else at the Chapterhouse. Blue Smoke goodness in reserve.
Fast forward to mission go-time. We sent a runner with a message to the Chapterhouse in advance that a Gyruff noble…what? Yuldra!!?…was going to visit with her entourage. I let her have the limelight for a change and our way in was through the front door! Yuldra also had a cart full of some exotic fruits from Tenwalls/Ravonar that we also spiked extra special for those Marchers. This equaled many ways and forms to be looped-up for our grand party! Well we entered and were seated for the formal dinner and the special food & drink was distributed to all. Yes…this Commander Dwarf broke out some wine! I have to say he wasn’t as bad as other Marchers so I was glad our methods were not lethal. Our entire group was present, I played some entertaining lute music quite wonderfully I might add, Aurora told some stories, a couple dancing ladies came in, but Yuldra drug the party out late into the night talking, more talking, tried a bit of dancing (very poorly) while the place ate up the food! We waited to see what effects were taking place. Of course the command staff at the Gran March table looked uncomfortable and eventually had to excuse themselves and left…WIN! Unfortunately dwarves are really resistant to effects of magic mushrooms and just about everything else…loss. Dang, this is the guy we really needed to incapacitate too. So sticking to our bloodless plan instead of attacking him I planted the Blue Smoke pouch while walking the room playing my lute and Xilvyre lit the baby up! I know what you are saying…we were ALL in the funny zone too but that is the chance we took to succeed! (Another music interlude on the Lute…)
As the blue smoke filled the room, most of our group remained composed with the exception of Yuldra and Pookie. Did I mention that dwarves are really resistant already and this guy was also of high level? Strike two! The gig was up and he called in troops to arrest us and remove the source of Blue Smoke. Well ALL the other Guards are not Dwarves and were mostly incapacitated by the Blue Smoke. In a last ditch effort to get this Dwarf guy, Xilvyre remembered that Yuldra had some kind of love potion on her. In the confusion of the Guards enjoying the Blue Smoke with a bellowing dwarf commander wondering why they were just standing there, Xilvyre found the potion and sneakily threw the open container at his face & mouth during mid-dwarf loud bellowing. I have had drinks thrown in my face before but I’m glad this potion was not in any of those! Dwarves are not good at resisting this type of concoction…which was also of fey design. He was immediately taken with Xilvyre and they decided to go for a walk to an undisclosed location. (Romantic music interlude on the Lute…)
There was one unaffected Guard in the room with us and was unsure of what to do. His last order was to arrest us but then Mr. Dwarf left with one of our group so he told us to remain here so he could figure it out. This bad news Marcher guard must be a real loser because one of those dancing ladies was really mad at him, grabbed a dagger from an incapacitated guard and tried to stick him! I’ll tell you, the last thing a guy wants to see is an upset female swinging a dagger at him…especially in the sack! But that was not too smart of her attacking a fully armored Marcher that thought she was less than dirt. I tried to talk it down and intervene between them but the guard cut her down in one swing. After a while Xilvyre and Lovey-dovey Dwarf returned and she convinced him to let us go. We may also have insinuated (ahem) that the dead dancing lady was a barbaric magic-using witch who poisoned pretty much the entire Chapterhouse. Who knew?
Well, it was well past midnight and we were leaving. We heard shouting & yelling in the distance and saw some fires too. I hope the rest of the groups are successful. But let me tell ya, the lot of them here at this Chapterhouse are either in LOVE (Xilvyre!) or so uncomfortable that the long lines at the outhouse are not moving fast enough so they are sheading armor, pulling down pants, and going all “abstract art” where they stand. No great fighting capability here! Should make it easier for the others.
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